Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

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Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by Caboose478 on Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:11 pm

For the past few years I have been writing like a madman. I have written fanfics, machinima scripts, and comic books since I was roughly five years old. But recently I have realized my true potential for writing and my skill for the art is finally showing. So with that I have been writing quite a few short stories here and there but a few months ago I began my largest project to date. And I thought what better place to post it than the internet!? While it is in no way related to video gaming of anything of that matter I thought I might as well post it on here anyway. Razz

This short story has already won a handful of awards at arts festivals so I'd like to share it with all who are willing to read it. So please any critiques are welcome, but remember it is very far from completion and this is almost entirely unedited with much need exposition and details I plan to add in during the editing phases.
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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by shotguhn on Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:13 pm

I would love to see it, I have written a few Machinima scripts and comics and want to do a fanfic myself, so I'd love to see what a fellow writer has.
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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by Caboose478 on Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:16 pm

The day started off as any other, Keeze awoke from Sleep State and unplugged himself from the connecter. He slid open the door to his small depression of a closet and chose from one of his multiple grey sweater vests; each with a bland cross pattern across the front of them. He then picked out a pair of pleated pants just as dull as his plating. Keeze sat down on his couch to relax before heading to work, he gazed at his small empty apartment, the plain white walls told his life story, nothingness. As he did every morning, Keeze stood up and headed out of his apartment building at precisely six o’ clock.

Keeze opened the apartment building door to see the city slowly come alive before his eyes. He could see the humans reluctantly drive their cars and his blocky brethren walking the sidewalks to work. The sun was already shining brightly in the sky, not a cloud in the air. The only way to escape the bright ball was by hiding under the shade of the small, gleaming buildings that decorated every street. Even then, the shade was very minimal, not a good day to be human. The heat was not a problem to Keeze, but he could tell the humans would be a bit more wound up today from the heat.

Keeze hugged the side of a building as he began to muse down the street. He did not need to hide from this heat but there was always the thought of over-heating in the back of his mind. Keeze was a standard X-47 IRO-Bot. His model was rather blocky, making it hard to guise oneself from the humans if one did not want the extra hate from them on a day like today. His metal platting was the color or a pair of kakis. You could barely tell the difference from his legs and his pants. A careless stranger called out to him, “Piss off you Windows 98 with legs!” Things like these comments were common to Keeze, phrases like “Computer Head,” or “Life-sized LEGO” were the most popular. Then there were the obvious obscenities and pure vulgar that would be spat on Keeze on a daily basis. Keeze never understood the humans’ obsession with these “curse words,” why were they meant to be offensive; they didn’t hurt Keeze in any way. But it was better than being called a “Governmental Puppet.”

Keeze continued to walk his standard journey to the library, sometimes he would turn the humans hatred into a game. He would randomly select on object in his head and count how many times it was throw at him from bypassing cars. Some days he just could not take the hatred and he would run as fast as possible to the library, but all this seemed to do is make the humans want to try and hit him with garbage even more. He was just a moving target in their eyes, nothing more.

Keeze could always tell when it would be a good day at work before even stepping foot in the library. Due to years of experience he knew the day’s robots would usually come into the library and whenever the robots were here, the humans kept out. They wanted to “read in peace and not be disturbed by the mass of squares that robots are,” a costumer once told Keeze. And today was the second Tuesday in July, a Robo-Day as Keeze called it on his calendar.

The day carried out as any other, Keeze following his hourly routines of stacking and arranging books, assorting the audio section of the library, making small talk with Alice, the head librarian, and then ultimately just waiting for 7 p.m. to roll on by.

Alice was a frail woman, lacking in both height and weight, nothing but bone. Her face was riddled with the wrinkles created over time; time spent in the massive library she had worked in for decades. She was a woman who easily dated herself, yet she learned to adapt to the evolving world around her; never showing signs of ignorance or prejudice. She was never afraid to show her age either, her thick glasses, curly white hair that looked like cotton, and her over-exaggerated arch in her back which she always covered with her red-velvet shall easily gave a rough estimate to her age.

The relationship Keeze and Alice had was nothing more than a casual acquaintance, their personalities would refuse anything more than that. Not to say there was bad blood in the workplace, but that both were quiet and shy, and when given the choice they would prefer to be alone with their nose in a good book. This simply led to the occasional awkward conversation that would rear its head between the two every now and then.

Keeze left work at the same time every day, but he would stay late when needed and today was one of those days when Keeze needed to help Alice with the Religion section. “You know, I’ve never been one to poke my nose in other people's business, but I must say I'm a little curious about this. What exactly do robots believe in?” Alice asked Keeze as she placed a biography of the current pope onto the shelf.

“Well, it is a pretty simple answer, I guess. You see, robots don't believe in anything really.”

“Strange, there's nothing you believe in? No God or deity? There must be some sort of story robots passed down to one another."

"Well, it's not the same for us really. I mean we were created in a factory, thus I was created to serve a purpose I already know of since I've known my purpose since my birth. And there is no real mystery as to who gave me life."

Keeze raised his left sleeve to show the letters C.N.B. engraved into his shoulder. "C.N.B., Caretaker, Nurturer, Birth-giver." Keeze said allowed to Alice. "This is engraved onto every IRO-Bot since the prototypes. It is meant to remind us of our creators, you guys, the humans."

"I guess I can see where you're coming from. I just feel everyone should believe in something." Alice looked down at her watch, "Oh heavens! I've kept you far too long, Keeze. Why did you not tell me how late it was?"

"Just thought you needed some help here."

"Well thank you for the help, but I can finish up here. Go on home, and take tomorrow off. You haven't taken a single personal day since you started."

"Well I really mustn't-"

"Please, don't worry about a thing," Alice hushed Keeze as she pointed to the exit.

Keeze obeyed and headed out the door with little to no thought on the conversation he had just been in. It was a more extensive conversation than what the two usually had, but Keeze always liked being able to talk to someone who didn't greet him by saying "You are a worthless pile of shit."

The air was dry and frozen as the moon begin its accent into the starless night sky. Too many lights in the city, Keeze may have been a robot but he surely did not favor most technology by any means. It took too much away from nature and all its beauty. Keeze continued his standard path back home until he heard a scream come from a block away. For some unexplainable reason, Keeze had enough courage and curiosity to examine the source of the scream.

There she was, in a parking lot dancing in front of a small van. A beautiful IRO-Bot with a few grungy-looking humans. They hopped side to side to the music playing on the van's radio. Keeze had never seen something so beautiful as this girl. Her eyes, her feeling of joy, her sense of freedom. Keeze would have never dared be seen with dirty humans in the middle of the night. But this girl did not seem bother one bit. It was if she had done this her whole life, just danced with humans. Keeze wanted to venture farther toward the crowd but something held him back. Maybe his nerves, maybe his sense of discipline, he didn't know. Although, Keeze did not have to do too much to be noticed in the middle of this barren parking lot. It was only a matter of time until the girl spotted him and called him over to the group.

Keeze would have given anything to say yes and join in on the fun, but his mind could not allow that, it was too far from his normal life. He told himself over and over again to walk towards the van but his body forced him to shake his head and walk in the other direction. After taking only a mere 4 steps the girl was right behind him, grabbing his arm. "Oh come on! Is someone a little shy?" The girl asked as she let out a chuckle. Keeze blushed as he forced his head to look at the ground instead of her gorgeous face. "Well let's go! We're only dancing, not gonna hurt anyone," the girl said once more still holding onto Keeze's arm, preventing him from walking away.

Keeze let out a reluctant breath of air and followed the girl back to the van. "Tam," the girl said as she looked back at Keeze. "Name's Tam."
"I am Keeze."
"Keeze, that's a chill name."
"Yeah, chill."

Tam introduced Keeze to the rest of the group, Nell, Chet, D., and Smithy. For the most part, they all looked like bums, especially Chet, who was wearing nothing but underwear and a blue-striped tie and a beard which must not have been shaven in years. Nell was just as strange, shaven head and tattoos from head to toe. He smelled like an animal pen and his shiny red-velvet vest was riddled with stains. Smithy and D. were much less eccentric than the other two, yet they both reeked of gasoline as if they had bathed in it, which was strange enough by Keeze's standards. They were all characters, but Chet was overly excited by the fact that Keeze was a robot. He continued to rub Keeze’s metal exterior and laugh as he stated how Keeze was a robot over and over again. That night was nothing like any other Keeze had endured, just dancing and laughing.

He sang the words to songs he had never heard of before but wished that he had. His limbs flew through the air as if he was trying to fly, with each new song came a new set of dance moves stranger than the last. After an hour or so of dancing Keeze noticed Tam had gone off, Keeze frantically searched the parking lot to find her balancing on a curb. He followed after her as she giggled, trying to keep her balance. Tam opened up the bag she had been carrying and pulled out a stack of papers, she slapped one of the papers onto a nearby sign. Keeze stood still; examining the piece of paper stuck to the sign, “I’m here” read the paper with a drawing of a couple holding hands. “What’s this?” Keeze questioned the now distant Tam.
“What, the paper?” Tam replied back as she wobbled from side to side on the curb.

“Yeah, what’s it mean?”

“Means, I’m here. Nothing else.”

Tam placed another piece of paper on a concrete block as she lost her balance and fell to the floor. Keeze ran to her thinking the worst. “Are you ok? Is something broken? Here, I’ll help you up. Let me-“
“I’m alright,” Tam cut off Keeze as she laughed out loud. Tam stood up, brushed the dirt off her and locked eyes with Keeze. Keeze tried as hard as he could to not smile, she was just so full of life that Keeze couldn’t help but smile every time he looked at her. Tam lunged forward and hugged Keeze tightly, accidentally knocking him off balance and sending both of them to the ground with a thud. Tam looked up at Keeze as Keeze did the same. They both began to laugh uncontrollably as Tam rolled off of Keeze.

Keeze saw his watch from the corner of his eye, it read 4:27 a.m. Keeze sat up immediately and told Tam he was sorry but he had to go home. It was far past robot curfew and he had work tomorrow. “Alrighty,” Tam said back to Keeze, “I’ll see you ‘round then?”

“Sure, I-I’d love to. So, um, see you later.”

Keeze was hoping for Tam to ask him for something, perhaps a phone number or an address. The entire walk home, Keeze could only think of how Tam must hate him seeing as how she never asked him for anything. Perhaps this was just a one time thing for her and they never really would meet again. Maybe this was some sick joke, to make fun of the lonely robot. Were they spying on Keeze? Was Tam in cahoots with the humans? Only time would tell, he’d have to wait until they did finally meet again, whether a good or bad reunion, Keeze could not go much longer without seeing Tam again. His life was never going to be the same again the moment he laid eyes on her.

The next morning Keeze awoke in his bed, staring at the ceiling for minutes. Just regressing on the events of last night. The greatest experience Keeze had ever had, that night seemed as though it would last forever, and Keeze had surely wished it had. He sat up and unplugged his connecter. As usual he chose his droll clothes and sat down on his couch, for the first time Keeze realized how boring his apartment looked. No color, no art, not decorations. Just plain and empty. All this did was make him think of Tam even more than he already was, "It is going to be a long day," Keeze sighed. He stood up from the couch and reluctantly shuffled his feet out the door.

Tired and disappointed at the end of the previous night, Keeze was not up to taking the hate from the humans this morning. Sadly he had woken up late and that only meant more humans would be up and about at this time. As he came to the intersection before reaching the library he saw a robot torn to pieces, his circuitry littered on the floor, surrounded by police officers, humans, and robots. The robot's eyes flickered on an off for quite some time as one of the robot police officers fell to his knees, frantically trying to rewire the distressed robot. The scene only became worse as one of the humans laughed out loud, a robot standing next to him turned around a swiped his elbow across the humans face. Blood spurted everywhere as the humans fell onto his back, the robot towering over him. Two of the human police officers restrained the robot and an uproar broke out with humans and robots fleeing from the scene trying to avoid trouble. The restrained robot was thrown to the ground. Both officers began to beat their batons upon the robot, denting his exterior. All attention was turned away from the robot which had been shredded. The robot officers left the dying robot to restrain the human officers.

Keeze could only stare at the dying robot, his eyes still flickering on and off. Finally, Keeze walked over to the robot who was far from the chaos between the officers at this point. He knelt down to the robot and continued to stare at its jumbled wiring. "The humans...they did this" the robot said with all his strength. Puzzled, Keeze looked at the robot questionably.

"Gang of humans...they pounced on me, tore me up good. Don't be walkin' these streets alone, buddy...They'll get ya too. I'm tellin' ya..." The robot's head fell onto the concrete, along with what was left of his body. Keeze did not say a word, he only stood and headed for the library. His mind racing with thoughts, and Tam nowhere to be found in his head.

As he plodded over towards the massive columns guarding the entrance to the library, the conversation between Alice and Keeze had struck into his mind. He remembered Alice telling him to take a personal day off, but what would be the point in staying home? What could a boring robot like Keeze do, he thought to himself. He shook the idea from his mind and continued to walk closer towards the library. Just then he could hear the deafening squeal of a car skidding across the street. Keeze turned his head to see an old muscle car sliding through the streets, smoking pouring through the exhaust. The car must have been eighty years old, it was a metallic black with a single white stripe darting across the center of the car. The car spun out of control and what seemed to be magic, the car stopped perfectly parallel to the curb directly in front of Keeze. There she was Tam, her hair remained in place throughout the entire scene. Keeze and Tam locked eyes, Keeze just stood in place, dumbfounded.

"I missed you," Tam laughed as she patted the passenger seat next to her. Keeze remained stiff, feeling both confusion and overwhelming excitement. He glanced back at the library then back at Tam; humans began staring at Keeze as if they were waiting for his decision: pick the girl or pick the dead end job. With one deep breath Keeze opened the car door, took a step forward and entered the vehicle. "No turning back now," Tam told Keeze as she locked the door and slammed the gas pedal. Keeze flew back into his seat as the car drove down the road, Tam expertly avoiding every obstacle. "Well this sure wakes you up more than coffee ever would," Keeze jested. "You know," Keeze continued while turning his eyes away from the road and onto Tam. "I have to admit I was a little worried I'd never see you again."

With that Tam stopped short the speeding car causing both to be knocked forward. Tam sat in the middle of the road and took the keys from the ignition. Both Keeze and Tam locked gazes and Tam spoke, "Now why wouldn't I want to see you again? I had a great time last night." Tam said with a brimming grin. Keeze sat motionless, he moved his eyes along the exterior of the car to see if he knew where Tam had taken him. Before he knew it Keeze saw a tower of smoke arise from the tree line, he knew where they were and he froze at the mere thought. Tam had parked the car directly on the train tracks just as a train headed their way. Tam's smile flipped into a frown as she watched Keeze stiffen up. "Didn't you, Keeze?" Tam pressed on while Keeze refused to turn his eyes from the oncoming train. Tam waited for an answer, but still Keeze could not speak. Tam, who was fed up with Keeze's fear, finally broke the silence as she pushed Keeze down on his seat, where she laid on top of his blocky body.

"There, no more train. So did you miss me?"

"Please can we just get off these tracks? We can talk then, but right now you need to be turning this damn car on!"

The train's horn began to blare once it caught sight of the car it would soon demolish. With that, Tam gave Keeze a brief smile before sitting back up and putting the keys into the ignition again. Just as the lights began to flash on the train tracks as a warning for the cars, Tam rode back onto the street. Keeze sat up and forced the door to open. He exited the car in a panic as he watched the train pass where he once sat. Tam too exited the vehicle, she couldn't help but giggle at Keeze who had began to flail his arms about as he scolded Tam, "Are you insane? We could have died! And you are just standing there laughing as if it were nothing!" Tam forced her smile away and held in her laughter. She ran straight towards Keeze, who was still yelling, and leaped into his arms. "So did you miss me or what?" Tam looked up at Keeze who completely stopped talking. The questioned look on his face mirrored his thoughts exactly, as if he lost the ability to speak. Keeze was dumbfounded, he could only let out a relieving sigh and a shrug of his shoulders. He positioned his head towards the floor, "Yes," he mumbled. Tam squealed as her grip on Keeze tightened.

Keeze turned his body around to survey his surroundings while Tam continued to lock her arms around his waist. The trees towered over everything, as if they were gods watching over the two. The wind shook the surrounding foliage as Keeze stared down the road ahead of them. Nothing for miles except for trees and road. "This place," Keeze began, "this place is perfect." "How so?" Questioned Tam with a puzzled look on her face, still holding on to Keeze.

"It's so quiet. So peaceful. So- I don't know -away from the world of hate we live in."

"Tis pretty nice, we should move out here some day."

Keeze was taken aback by Tam's words. He stood in silence observing the
past two days of his new beginning. "Ya know, today was the first true day of my life," he finally spat out.

"And why is that?"

"Because ... because I met you."

"I don't get it."

"I have spent my entire life friendless and following the very same routine since my activation and then this beacon, this marvelous beacon of light shines down on me. And it tells me that I can give up my boring old life and really live. I've been reborn Tam and it's all because of you."

Tam let go of Keeze and he did the same. The two took a step back from one another and Keeze gave Tam a brief smile. Then Tam turned her back to Keeze and headed back into the car. "Meet me here tomorrow," Tam commanded.

"Why here?"

"'Cos I've got some packing to do, and so do you."

"Pardon?"

"We're leaving this place."

"Tam, we only met yesterday, you must be insane."

"Well, yeah, that's what love does to you. Makes ya wanna just get up and go. To do anything for the other person, like move far away from the world of hate we live in."

The word trailed off in Keeze's mind. Love. Was this really what love felt like and was it supposed to happen so fast?

With that Tam slammed her car door shut while the car began to rumble on as she turned the keys. Keeze started towards the car, but before he had the chance to reach out for the door, Tam had sped off in the car leaving Keeze alone in a cloud of dirt.

Keeze let the previous exchange of words soak into his metal exterior for only a minute or two, but to Keeze it felt like days. His wires and circuitry inside his blocky head began to process and replay every possible moment of the last two days. Keeze sat there alone, in silence and in peace. A feeling that he recalled once overtook what he considered a life. The trees surrounded him in his statuesque positioning as he finally understood how little more he could have stood of this life. Keeze would never again wish to have this peace, it had been his only friend the entirety of his existence. And he was ready to say his final goodbye to his long-time pal.

Keeze eventually began to make the trek home, the entire time the cogs spun out of control in his mind. With every step a new thought appeared and with every thought arose a new question. A new sense of paranoia.

Keeze marched onward home without a single decrease in speed or step out of line, perfectly mimicking his first few minutes of life as he left the assembly line with his "brothers" and "sisters." Keeze chuckled as his mind bounced on to the thought of how love could work for a robot. Seeing as how all robots consider their fellow robot as a sibling, so did that mean he had fallen in love with his sister? Or maybe it didn't count since Tam was an X-49 IRO-bot while Keeze was the X-47 model. And what defined the borderline of robot "families?" Was each family including every bot made in a specific factory? Or perhaps it was impossible for a robot to have family, because while they were all made in the same factory they did not express or resemble family qualities of life.

Like clockwork, Keeze entered his apartment complex and shuffled up the stairs all the while his mind continued to race on about things like love and dreaming. Could robots dream? Keeze had never experienced a dream so he guessed at a "no" for that question, but still he had no proof he couldn't dream. And that's when it hit him, that's when he realized everything he was feeling and imagining, it was all a mere dream.

Keeze flipped the light switch on as he scanned his room, the single ceiling light bouncing off every white wall. Keeze stumbled over to the center of his living room and slowly lowered his body until he was sitting criss-cross on the stain-ridden carpet that irritably scratched at his blocky legs. He sat there and at first he stared at the lone window in the room, and then at dropped his head and began to let out a smirk. And that smirk turned to a chuckle, and that chuckle into a booming laugh growing with every breath. Keeze had no explanation for his outbreak yet for some reason he found his breakthrough on dreaming hilarious. Whether it was out of self-pity or pride, it was damn funny. Keeze was dreaming, his life with Tam, his escape from his small, white, boxed in world he existed in was all his dream. His true desire.

The next morning Keeze awoke still on the living room floor. He stole a quick look at his belongings and gave out a big "hmph!" Keeze jumped up to his feet and sprinted out the door with only the clothes he had yet to change.
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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by MarioMaster1337 on Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:23 pm

Wow! Nice job there, I've written a story myself, though mine sucks in utter failure compared to yours. Keep up the good work.

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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by Caboose478 on Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:26 pm

Thanks! Really appreciate that, but I gotta say, I've read some terrible stories in my day. So just remember there is always someone worse than you! XD
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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by TatteredTime on Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:44 pm

I write as well but all my stories are on Booksie.com/TatteredTime (Not advertising I swear XD)
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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

Post by Boo The Ghostie on Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:00 am

Wow Caboose, that was fantastic! I loved it, you really did a great job with this story- i'm very impressed. Please keep up the good work, you've really got talent! Very Happy
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Re: Don't Let Go: A Short Story [Incomplete]

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